Thursday, March 12, 2009

I will move on


My years of passion
That I spent writing for you
Have cajoled spirit
To go on devoid of you.

Of years reclusive,
Nothing again I would talk
Even if you ask
With you love, I may not balk.

Loving the same you
Being with the same old clique
But it hurts a lot
When you want to but can’t speak.

I dealt with all that
But I lost to your temper
You asked me to love
But then, I failed to concur
May be I am still a cur.
=============================
Written for 3WW CXXVIII (Cajole, Recluse, Temper)
Tried to follow Choka here; however, the length of the poem may be a concern here.

Posted by Tan Categories: , ,

9 comments:

  1. Thom GabrukiewiczMarch 12, 2009 at 4:05 AM

    Tan, thanks for coming by 3WW and having a go at the words. I am unfamiliar with Choka, but I did read up on it and I tend to think you are OK with teh length. I like this very much.

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  2. Ofira SephirothMarch 12, 2009 at 4:10 AM

    I've never heard of Choka before so I've learned something new today. Great use of the words. I love the closing stanza.

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  3. Sherri B.March 12, 2009 at 4:36 AM

    I enjoyed this...add me to the list of those who haven't heard of Choka. I'll have to investigate it further!

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  4. AngelMarch 12, 2009 at 7:58 AM

    I don't know about Choka either, but enjoyed the poem.

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  5. AnonymousMarch 12, 2009 at 11:11 AM

    For some1 who said he couldn't write when words were given, you wrote DAMN well! Brilliant!

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  6. AnonymousMarch 12, 2009 at 3:54 PM

    Tan, i dont know the special styles of poetry.. but i just love ur poems, and this one must have been a lot of work, have turned out beautifully again..well done..

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  7. MeghaMarch 12, 2009 at 5:23 PM

    The anguish is beautifully woven here..the tittle conquers..

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  8. nituscornerMarch 12, 2009 at 11:43 PM

    a very positive thought....
    nice one tan.

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  9. TanMarch 13, 2009 at 2:48 AM

    First of all mates, who ever wants to know about Choka, can use this link from The Writers Lounge. If you find this as a way to promote our group blog, then ... well, it is :P

    but I'm sure you will get all the information you want from there.

    @ ThomG

    Thanks for your visit and the comment. That was wonderful ... The Choka is normally from 30 to 100 lines long .. so, the concern!


    @ Ofira

    Thanks thanks and thanks again ... your words do mean a lot ... do visit and read me more :)


    @ Feldging Poet

    Use the link above mate, it has the information about Choka ... thanks for liking the poem :)


    @ Angel

    Thanks for the visit ... I'm happy that you liked it ... Keep visiting and reading me more ... Cheers!!


    @ Rashi

    Hehehe... thanks ;) Just tried ...


    @ Anonymous

    You are correct - it was a lot of toil indeed. And to Rashi too: see, people could understand that I had to really work for it. I had to, for it was not that free flowing ... got it? hehehe ...

    Will do better next time mate ... thanks :)


    @ Megha

    Thanks a bunch for visiting and commenting ... Happy to see you liked it ...


    @ Nitu

    I'm glad that you found something positive here ... hehe ... that was nice :) HBD ...


    I'm trying to experiement with words these days and all these are in the same spirit ... Let me know if I can help you anyways ... Cheers!!

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for reading me and choosing to comment. Your comment always encourages me to write more and write sense. Keep visiting, whenever you can and comment on the posts. I will be more than eager to receive your comments and suggestions.

Warm Regards,
Tan :)

PS: Please visit my other blog: Thus Spake Tan!

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