Even if I let you go

I just want to ask thee
Before you leave me
In all these years we were together,
Did you love me, ever?

It was all clear on your face
You changed a lot these days
Fool of me, that I didn’t see you go away.
My life is at bay!


I knew girls don’t have a heart
I thought you to be poles apart
I fell prey to the dreams you showed,
To the solemn words you vowed.

Love, I know a lot about
But, I still have a little doubt
Is it fate that has parted us, or you?
It is hard to trust, but true!

There was so much in you
I always felt the bliss as new
As you leave me in the world of sorrow,
For a better tomorrow!

Even if I let you go
My love, I just want to know
Were all the words you said just fake?
For God’s sake!

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One Night Stand

I slept for long, it seems
- As I woke up this morning
- And I stretched my hands for her,
- I found the pillows alone,
- One night stand was over!

I slept for long, it seems
- She woke up before I did
- And she left before dawn,
- I could still hear her moans around me
- Her smell was not yet gone.

I slept for long, I feel
- When I look around my room
- The last night flashed in my head,
- I saw the moon in my arms
- In the comfort of my bed.

I slept for long, I knew
- When I rubbed my eyes and sat up
- And my gaze rummaged around,
- I see my kingdom as it was
- But my queen was not to be found.

I slept for long, I’m afraid
- I found a note, she left
- On a beautiful pink paper, it says
- “Good Morning, my honeycomb,
- “Welcome to the world of AIDS!”

---

Its just a month left, for the World (anti) AIDS day. This thought came to me while I used to travel from Bangalore to Chennai, in night buses. I used to get both male and female seat-mates and there were instances when I prevented myself from getting carried away. Well, I did that fine, I know. But, the thought remained. Would have written it long ago – but its never so far from where you are … so, here it is!

Cross posted at: The Writers Lounge

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The Meeting

I was there in time. The crowd went crazy by the time I reached the Palace Corner. It was almost evening and weekend just started for all the bureaucrats that Friday evening. I stood there near the BSNL gate, with the cigarette half done. She did not come in time. Well, she told me she might be late, but this wait was killing me from inside. I did not want to wait for her that day. I have waited long hours for her to come online and then to login to YM and say that sweet ‘Hi’ and have never complained; but today, when we were meeting for the first time, I could not wait to meet her in flesh and blood! I never liked pink, but I was browsing through the fleeting crowd and searching only for that color that day. She told she will be wearing pink top and white trousers. I saw at least a thousand girls in pink in the last ten minutes of wait, but none of them mattered. When will she come?

A tap on my right shoulder; I turned 180 degrees around and I was shocked!

I always thought her to be my dream girl. We shared our pictures and I really felt she was the one. Actually, I modified her a great deal to match the idol I dreamt of. And very easily, she got into that virtual mold. With her chatting, emails, text messages and rare phone calls and those jokes and giggles over the phone, she easily crept in the cast I made in my thoughts and dreams. I went through the last five months of knowing her on the internet in a flash – the way we met in Orkut and then we chatted in GTalk and those nudges and those irregular emails took us to a few conversations on the phone and finally we would meet that Friday evening. All felt like a moment – a mere moment!

Another prod – this time, it was more of a shake.

“Hey, do you recognize me?”

“Ee… No! I mean, who are you?”

“Err… Rakib?”

“Ra… Rakib?”

“I’m sorry. I meant, are you Rakib Al Sharif?”

“Rakib Al Sharif?”

“I’m Sahana… Sahana?”

“Sahana? Yes, but…”

“I’m sorry again. Are you Rakib? I came here to meet you.”

“Nn… No! I’m not Rakib. My name is Asif. Asif Mm… Mohammad.”

“Oh! I’m extremely sorry.”

“Ee… it’s alright.”

She turned back. I could see the want in her eyes to meet me, through my tainted glasses. She was also searching all around her – for me – the way I was searching for her all this time! She cross passed me and I tried to smell her for one last time by the passing gust of her, but I smelled nothing! How strange! I could smell her and feel her presence even while we were chatting on the internet, the other night. And that day, when she was as close as ever, I could not feel her at all!

She went ahead and dissolved in the crowd. I turned once more to look for her, but I did not search. I did not see her there again. It was almost dark but I could not think of removing the glasses. I lit one more cigarette with almost trembling hands and walked towards the bus stop.

[That Night, in YM]

Sahana: Hi...

Rakib: Hello
(Last message received: 3 minutes ago)
Sahana: hw r u?
(Last message received: 2 minutes ago)
Sahana: Hello... :) u thr?
Rakib: Hi
Sahana: wt happnd?
Rakib: Feeling tired
Sahana: y? :(
(Last message received: 7 minutes ago)
Sahana: ... ...
(Last message received: 4 minutes ago)
Sahana: r u bz?
Rakib: Nope
Sahana: thn? :'(
(Last message received: 3 minutes ago)
Sahana: tk 2 me...
Sahana: r u thr???
Sahana: H E L L O ................. :X
(Last message received: 12 minutes ago)
Rakib: Yes
Sahana: y dint u cm 2day?
(Last message received: 5 minutes ago)
Sahana: wt happnd? tk 2 me... plz....
Sahana: Rakib.......

(Last message received: a minute ago)
Rakib: I am here
(Last message received: 4 minutes ago)
Sahana: ws tht u?
Rakib: No
(Rakib is Offline.)
Sahana: I wsh v cud spk. ........... Gud bye!... ... ... ... ... :'( :'(
(Rakib is Offline. Message not sent.)

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The Last Flood

The flood was bloody. And so was the aftermath. It has been a couple of days, since the silent river rose, roared and ruined the village. The time was frightening and was long lived – enough to engulf the whole village. The life-giving river that used to provide the villagers food and water became a monster that night, and ate up its own children. The tides rose above the banks and swallowed crops, cattle, trees, huts and everything else that beautified and glorified the village.

It left behind Mili alone, the daughter of the village milkman. She was away, at other end of the village, collecting blueberries for the market, next day. She was late and it was raining incessantly; she thought of spending the night with her ailing grandmother. She lived there and she lives to witness the repercussions of the flood that devastated her family, her village and all her dreams overnight!

She remembers the day when she first went to school. Her mother accompanied her till the river. She took a handful of water and sprinkled it all over Mili and asked her to take its blessings, since it was her first steps into a new life. She never knew then that the river would one day, do such grotesque a thing to wipe out the very village that worshipped and considered it their mother.

Mili walked by the bank of the river over the stones and pebbles towards the place where her house used to be, just the other day. She looked up – the moon was like a big aluminum plate, they used to eat on. The river was silent again, but the water in it was rushing downhill like never before. She never saw such haste in the river water. She wanted to ask them where they were going – after sullying her life. They seemed to speed through just to avoid her questions. She cried for the entire day – her tear buds were frozen and out of tears. She cried no more.

She reached the place and looked around – there is no sign of any inhabitance anywhere. Only the vestiges of the mud walls stayed to prove that there were people staying here. She walked among those broken walls and could find nothing but sand and trails of silt and shrubs that the water carried. There was nothing left to cry on or to call home!

It started to rain again. A sudden thought made her cold: is the water hastening to create similar mayhem in the other end of the village, where her grandmother was staying? She got scared! She looked back and ran over the stony riverbank. Her feet bleed but she never stopped but sped as if she was competing with the stream. As soon as she reached grandmother’s hut she ran in and hugged the shivering old woman. She asked, “What happened, Mili? Why did you come back?” Mili whispered in her ears, “Nothing Granny. Everything is all right – everything is silent!”

---

Cross posted at The Writers Lounge for Moonlight Picture Contest

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Pawn

Poured love
And left
Won heart
Next deal


As prompted in: Acrostic Only: For the Month of August

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As I left...

As I left

She was standing by the tree

Her big wet eyes staring at me

She tried, but could tell not a word

She looked up, praying to the lord

And I left

As I left

The road cried as I stepped on it

The clouds rumbled as I took the street

The air whistled through the bamboo woods

I walked past, as my mind broods

And I left

As I left

The moon hid behind the cloud

The lark screamed pretty aloud

The drops of tears left her eyes

As she looked up into the skies

And I left

As I left

Something broke in me, deep inside

As I leave alone my newlywed bride

I wanted to too, but I did not cry

But she did, as she bid me goodbye

And I left for the border – as my motherland calls for me…

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God All Mighty

Outside my window
I see the road
Carrying people and vehicles,
The road stays still
It never moves
Though it takes people to places.

An oldie clad in rag
All alone, fearful
Waiting to cross the road,
Nobody stopped for him
Resolute, unnoticed,
Waiting for a change in bode.

A child came toddling
From utter nowhere
Held his hand and took him over,
He bowed down
To kiss her chicks
Perhaps, he won’t forget that ever!

They never saw me
Looking at them
I was pleased, as the wind veered
The man turned
To his own destination
A blink and the child disappeared!

I could believe it not
I could not trust my eyes
All seemed to be so beyond belief,
I looked above
Deep, into the clouds
The clear sky brought so much relief!

I know God
That you are there
Overseeing us from all above,
Healing our souls
Easing our lives
And spreading incessant care and love!

---

Thank You God – for everything!

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Catch Me If You Can

Can’t stop
A wafting draft
Transient mood
Creeping fear
Hurrying time

My mind so fresh
Eternal strong

Inexorably, I will fly
Far away from you

You can never seize
One incredible mind
Unfettered soul

Coruscate world wide
Abnegate truth, you may
Nescience you, can’t stop me!

...............................................................................
Written For: Acrostic Only : Prompts for May 30th (Catch Me If You Can)

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Let’s bring it out

Let’s bring it out
Whatever is there in our heart’
You need not act any smart
You can say it now

You can say it now
That you love me no more
That you never cared for
It will be all right.

It will be all right
If you walk to me and talk
There’s no need to mock
Let’s bring it out…

Crossposted @ The Writers Lounge on May 20, 2009

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We excavated Love together

Do you live?
Do you live still?
I do not know
I would never know.

You came into my life like a tempest fierce
Ruffled my verve and you went away
And never have you returned to see my tears
Not even to check, if I breathe still!

I miss you
I miss you always.
Do you live to miss me?
I would never know.

I think of the time, when you were here
In my arms, feeling the warmth of my body
My burly arms secured your restless head
Your tender breasts rested on my chest
Your hair flew over my face and glittered
You slept well all night – I in you and you in me!

Do you recall?
Do you recall the eon
Where we ruled the nights?
I would never know.

Those nights were glossy, shining still
Bright in my heart, somewhere there vigil
The skin rubbed the skin back and forth
The search went deep inside the mysterious
All that toil and that sweat was not in vain
For we excavated love together, deep inside
The smile on your face, the pleasure on mine
Would haunt me every night for as long as I live!

Do you live?
Do you live to miss me?
Do you recall the eon?
I would never know.

---

Crossposted at The Writers Lounge on May 27, 2009
Picture Source

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Why, do YOU cry?

I cry
I know, but do you know why?
You cry

At times
When you laugh out loud to all
I cry!

Save what?
For you have got nothing left
Don’t lie

If I make
Your skin rubbed against mine
You’d fly

But then
You would never betray me.
You try!

... Why, do YOU cry? ...

---

Crossposted @ The Writers Lounge on May 20, 2009

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The only way you know

I want to feel, the way you feel
I want to know who you are
I would love to see through your heart
It’s only that, I don’t care! ...................................Not anymore…


You loved me not, it’s all right
I don’t need love from you, see
No one would love me so, I know
If there is one, it’s me! ...................................Its only me…


I cried a lot; but I’m done now
I don’t cry, for I don’t care anymore
After all, you too, are a girl, and
Betrayal is the only way you know. ...................................The only way…

Crossposted @ The Writers Lounge on May 20, 2009

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All I want – is you!

“Hold me close,” this is
All I want to say
All I want to do
All I want – is you!

Give me a chance,
We’ve got odds to leaven
Come on let’s dance
I will take you to heaven
If this is not fine
Then what else can be?
I don’t want nothing
As you can see.

“Give me a chance,” this is
All I want to say
All I want to do
All I want – is you!

I love you,
It’s what I want you to know
We’ve got this moment
Please don’t let it go
If this is not enough
Then what else can be?
I need you to take me in
And set me free.

“I love you,” this is
All I want to say
All I want to do
All I want – is you!

Cross posted @ The Writers Lounge on May 8, 2009

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You Remain

Even when in pain
In the deepest of my heart
You’ll always remain

I had a good time again today in the Lounge, after quite some time. Liked it much. All it has done is to remind me of my olden days in here. And a few words just fell out of my mouth. Reminded me of those eyes – reminded me of those poems, comments and replies – of that eternal comfort! These were those few words.

Cross posted @ The Writers Lounge on May 7, 2009

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Liberation (Contest Entry)

Liberty
Inspires
Boundlessness
Eternal
Recess
Alcove of soul
Tranquility
Independence
Oblivious mind
Never bound



Submitted to : Acrostic Only Contest Prompt 1 –Liberation
© May 19, 2009 Tanmoy Das, Bangalore, India


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All I got...

Continued from Hashan’s Black Poetry : The eternal sleep !!

Love is
All I needed
From you lord and from her
All I got was this lonely grave
And death!

Crossposted at: The Writers Lounge on May 6, 2009


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The Writers Lounge

Tantalizing
Heartrending
Experience

Writing and
Reading
Integration of
Truthful
Emotions
Repeatedly
Sensuous

Living through
Omnipresent
Unending
Nights with
Genius
Engaging unknowns



A Dedication to The Writers Lounge

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Destiny

Deeds you do
Endorse fortune
Seldom its luck
That navigates
In storms of life
No one else, but
You build your fate


Written as Prompted at: Acrostic Only (Destiny)
Cross Posted at: The Writers Lounge!

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Tagore: A Commemoration

There is no Sun as bright as you
You are still radiant in my heart,
Of all I read and of all I know
You are THE MASTER of the art.

Vibrant are all your paintings
The words you wrote are still alive
The wealth you gave to the world
No one else could ever contrive.

Bless me now, I’m all yours
I feel so proud when I think of you,
The world of art will surely miss
Guru of literature, O Kabiguru!

It’s today, when you were born
O what an auspicious day!
I remember you, we all will do
Every poet, wherever be one may.
.-=~(@)~=-.
…Bless us all, Gurudev…
…May God keep your soul in Peace…

Visit my Bengali Blog: Hojoborolo for a Bengali Dedication

Cross posted at: The Writers Lounge

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Liberation (2)

Liberty
Is all I seek
Beleaguered roads
Eternal containments
Recommends freedom
All I get is
Tall dominance
Intolerable restraints
Oh don’t dominate me
Not now – not ever

Written (again) for Acrostic Only : Liberation

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