Continue reading...
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Logout
Continue reading...
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Is This It?
Is this the life I should live?
I just want to ask you, O God,
Is this what I should believe?
You make me see things that I don't want to see
You show me a path I would never walk on
Still, you ask me to walk blindfold,
Will you hold me if I fall down?
I'm afraid for the first time in life
I'm afraid that I would have to do it,
Life's so scuffled and I'm so hapless
I'm afraid that I would have to quit.
There was a time, when all was mine
And I was the king of my dreams,
Life was heaven with light and music
But now, everything is so dark gleams!
Its so that I feel dull and dead already,
I dont see a ray of light anywhere,
There are not many I can cling to, to live
But I still hope, O God, You are there.
So, I'm writing this to you in hope
Maybe, you can bring some peace to me,
You know, it not at all fair and
Death should not come like this to me!
Continue reading...
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Valentine in love

Alone at home
Nothing to do and I am bored
Come back home soon
I’ve been waiting all day…
Come and take me in your arms
Or kiss me, if you may
As midnight strikes, we’ll be together
And celebrate Valentine’s Day!
It’s been long since you’re gone
And I am just killing time just like that,
Talking to friends – old and new
Rushing through time on chat.
I’ve no plans for tomorrow
And I’m already feeling so blue,
I know you’d not say nothing
But I leave it again, to you.
Let’s plan a day, together
I’d cook and be good, if you say
We’ll do all the things that you want
And celebrate our Valentine’s day.
Let this be another day in life
When, we fall in love again
We’ll prove to this ignorant world
Love is immortal and no feign.
My love for you will always be there
Less than tomorrow, more than yesterday,
I promise again, my beloved wife
I will love you forever and a day!
Continue reading...
Friday, January 29, 2010
Ujaalon ki or
Dil ki raho me, badho sajnaa
Haath me liye sachhai ki deepak
Andheron se dur, chalo sajnaa...
Chalo sajnaa, usi raha par
Jahan dhoop ho, chhayaa bhi ho
Jahan meet ho, jahan preet ho
Jahan geet ho, gungunate chalo
Chalo sajnaa, us mod taq
Jo aaye to bas, to hi jeet ho
Jahan sur aur saaz eksaath chale
Sargam hi naa ho, sangeet bhi ho...
Andheron se tum ghabrana nahi
Andherein to pag pag saath chalein
Apni shraddha rakkho ujaalon ki or
Aur chalte raho, jahan dil le chale...
Badho sajnaa, usi path par
Jahan kaatein ho, phool bhi ho
Sirf moti na ho, sirf manzil na ho
Jahan badalon si garm dhool bhi ho
Badho sajnaa, dil ki raho pe tum
Roshni ka jahan ek jhalak bhi dikhe
In andheron se dur badhte jaao
Jahan chaaro taraf ujaalaa hi ho...
Continue reading...
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
I will always love you
There is so much I hide
But one thing is true
There cannot be a life without you
And that, I will always love you
No matter how far you are
No matter the distance in between
I will fly to you, when You need me
There nothing that you have to do
Just know, I will always love you
People will come and go in life
Someone will come to stay
You will not need me then, anymore
Then, I will leave as I came to you
But still, I will always love you...
Continue reading...
Friday, January 22, 2010
Summer Rain

Sun scorched day
Umbrella fared high
Molten ice-cream soothed
Mizzle intensified abruptly
Effused respite cordial
Rain drenched earth
Rejuvenated all life
All at once
It rained again
Not to stop
Written For: Acrostic Only, Jan 2010 #8
Acrostic with 3 Words per Line
Continue reading...
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Kaash aysa ho

aur meri yaad tujhe sone naa de,
ek dusre ki bahon me bitayein hue wo haseen lamhe
tujhe yaad aye, aur sone naa de.
kaash aysa ho, ke main tujhe yaad ayun
har ahat pe tujhe lage ke main hun yehin kahin
har dhadkan se tujhe mere hone ka ahsaas ho
aur wo ehsaas tujhe saari raat, sone na de.
tere ankhon me base hue hain, jo mere khwab
tu unko palkon taq aane kyon nahi deti,
tere dil me mujhse milne ki hai jo junoon
tu use haqikat me badalne kyon nahi deti?
kyon nahi kehti ke tujhe bhi mujhse pyar hai?
kyon nahi kehti ke ye duriyaan tujhe bhi tadpati hain,
bilakti, sulaghti hogi tu bhi mere judaai me
apne aap ko mujhme samane kyon nahi deti?
kaash aysa ho, ke tu yaad kare wo haseen pal
jo humne saath guzare the, ankhon ankhon me
wo din jo jhilmilaye the kabhi apne saath
wo raatein jo humne bitaye the, baaton baaton me.
kaash aysa ho, ke mujhe tu yaad kare
aur meri yaad se teri ankhen bhar ayein
bhari ankhein ho jaaye bojhal humari sapno se
aur tu soye. jaagna na pade tujhko aur raaton me...
Continue reading...
Friday, January 15, 2010
Manmauji

Manmauji Manmauji
saade dil vich hai jo anand
us anand ko vekko ji
saade dil vich hai jo pyar
us pyar ko vekko ji
mere pehle bhi kitne ayein
mere baad bhi ayenge
jo bole so nehal hove
"Sat Shree Akaal" boloji
Manmauji Manmauji
dil me kuch jubaan me kuch aur
dhoka khud ko na dena
jo hai Allah wohi rakhwala
"Allah hu Akbar" boloji
Manmauji Manmauji
kehat Kabir suno bhai saadho
paap man me na le ana
bhatke hue ko rah dikhave
man me "Ram" boloji
Manmauji Manmauji
Manmauji Manmauji
thwade dil vich hai jo jasba
us jasba ko vekko ji
thwade dil vich bhi hai pyar
us pyar ko vekko ji
inna sara pyar hai dil vich
kade taan wo bhi vekko ji
Manmauji Manmauji...
Continue reading...
Friday, January 8, 2010
Agartala – the development in news
“Indian Airlines welcomes you to Singarbil Airport, Agartala. The outside temperature is 22 degrees centigrade and the captain feels it’s quite comfortable. Please do not try to open the overhead lockers until the plane comes to a complete stall. This might harm you or your fellow passengers. We thank you for travelling with Indian Airlines and we hope you will travel with us soon. We wish you a pleasant stay in Agartala.”
After checking out with the baggage, I was surrounded by a horde of car and auto drivers. The first signs; so uncommon about Agartala! For a moment, it did not feel like my own land! Anyways, I took an auto after twenty minutes of bargain and only after deciding upon a price which I thought should be enough for the ride home.
The ride was not so good. I mean, I did not feel I was in the same place where I spent most of my years! Agartala had changed so much since I left it that it gives me an impression as if the aero plane went back to Guwahati instead of landing in Agartala. The roads were widened; the shops were pushed back; the footpaths were fabricated and there were small saplings planted all through the road till I reached home. One might question the objective of the authorities, but all I felt was an improvement – a step towards development of the capital which had never been of priority to the government. I liked it.
After reaching home, I took recess for rest of the day. The cool bath in my own shower and a neck-fill lunch allowed me to do nothing more but sleep. So, I went upstairs and slept in the terrace. When I woke up, it was almost dark and the quirking crickets were shouting at the peak of their voice, as if they were welcoming my return. Only then, I felt I was back – home! The sound of crickets and the dancing fireflies in the middle of the city can only be experienced in Agartala, and nowhere else, I believe.
Agartala is the capital of one of the seven sisters of north east – Tripura. Tripura is a land that was never under British rule. This is why I say that Tripura is a virgin state (LOL). The ancient state takes up a huge area including some districts of Assam, Meghalaya, Mizoram and Bangladesh and it was ruled by Tripuri Kings or Twipra Dynasty for almost 2500 years. On October 15, 1949 Tripura was merged with independent India. The state lost lion’s share of its area to Bangladesh during partition of East Pakistan and India. Tripura became a centrally administered Union Territory on July 1, 1963 and attained the status of a full-fledged state on January 21, 1972. Agartala, the capital city of the state is where I was born. I have travelled across the length and breadth of India extensively during my school, college and post graduation days and no place could fascinate me more than my own little piece of land.
The next morning I carried my age old bicycle to the nearest puncture shop (well, most of the shops here were either ‘puncher’ or ‘pancar’ shops all these years, but somehow, all of them had suddenly learnt the right word, it seemed!) to mend it. The bicycle is still a perfect ride for the city. The total city area does not go more than 60 Sq. Km and you can still travel from one corner to the other just by handing over a five rupee coin! Everything is in the vicinity. You need not travel more than 12 hours to reach any of your relatives residing in any part of the state. At present, with the inception of railways (after 61 years of independence) the travel time has reduced even more.
The bicycle ride to the only railway station in Agartala illustrated many changes in the city. I intentionally took the longer route and met many of my old friends and relatives on the way. By the time I reached the station it was noon and there were no trace of any engine. Alas! I was excited hoping to see an engine for the first time in Agartala, but could not. The railway station itself has been built in a way to depict old palaces. The look of the white station gate gave a tremendous feeling. We all were waiting for it since childhood when the then railways minister promised to get Agartala connected to the rest of India. And when it happened, most of us were not present here in Agartala. Anyways, the very sight of the railway tracks and the platforms gave me immense pleasure. I came back.
The current Agartala is situated not far from the old and original one, called “Purano Agartala” or “Old Agartala.” One can still see the erections of the ancient kings who ruled the state in Purano Agartala. One of the main temples of Tripura where the traditional Kharchi Puja is celebrated is situated in this place. Many other small and big temples can be seen there that depict the engineering and art of ancient Tripuri Kings. However, the main palace, called the Ujjayanta Raajprashaad is situated in modern day Agartala and the city is built up all around it.
While travelling back home, I thought of getting into the market place – Kaman Choumuhani and Hawker’s Corner. The moment I entered the area, my eyes went ablaze! What was there that I am seeing? Big shopping malls have come up in place of small chain of shops and the roads are not covered with shop less hawkers anymore. There were parking made for cars and bicycles and the whole place was glowing and bustling like a metro! The changes what I saw around me left me awestruck; but for the people around me, nothing at all! Maybe they were more adaptive or practical or mature. Whatever it was, I was in no mood to think about them. People change as the environment and the society they live in changes. I know, I know!
On the way back, I cycled passed my school, the hospital that I was born in, the Motor Stand, the South and North Gates to the palace compound, the Astabal Maidan, the Buddha Mandir, the Governor’s house and the Malancha Nivas, where Kabiguru Rabindranath Thakur used to stay. My school building was demolished and a big palace stands in its place now. The place near Buddha Mandir had grown up to a satellite market place. Governor’s house remained a mystery with its high raised guarding walls as we could never peep into it and see what is there to be seen. Renovation works on Malancha Nivas were still going on. A few roads were being re-laid and the smell of tar and charcoal filled the air. Sight of the circuit house, road towards Bholagiri Ashram’s field and the age old Kunjavan Quarters gave me pleasant hindsight of the olden days. Some things never change and I was happy that they do not. By the time I reached home, it was dark and Maa scolded me after years and I promised within to be late for each of the rest days of my tour.
The stay in Agartala came out to be pleasant as wished by the airhostess earlier. I could not travel to different parts of Tripura, and relished my excursions into my native – felt like old wine in a new bottle! There are many places one can visit when in Tripura – the Tripureshwari Kaali Bari, Neermahal, Shipahi Jala animal resort and zoo, Unokoti Mountains containing idols of 33 crores Hindu Gods and Goddesses inscribed on rocks, Pilak and many more small but historically irreplaceable places. Due to shortage of time, I could not visit any of those; but I browsed through the paths and roads of Agartala to my heart’s content. The next time I go there, I am sure to see many more changes, developments and shifts in overall beauty of the city but I am confident on one thing – how much ever they change Agartala, I will know it as much as I have always known and it will love me as much as it always does!
Phew! Nostalgic Agartala!
________________________________________
Its almost a work of fiction, as I have not visited the place for 2 years, 11 months and 16 days; however, the facts are all true as I got to see the photos and experiences that my friends and relatives have shared with me. When I go there now, it will not be much different!
Was thinking where I should put thie writeup - in this blogor my regular blog. Then, since I have not actually gone there in years, I felt this is the right place for this to be... Hope you enjoyed...
Pics above:
1. Tourism Map of Tripura.
2. Railway Station, Badharghaat.
3. Ujjayanta Palace.
4. Neermahal, Melaghar.
Continue reading...
Friday, December 25, 2009
Love me alone!

I know there are people around you who catch your eye
But they are like passing breeze and they will pass by.
I know you have always felt whatever I had to say,
My dearest, I’ll be here forever; I am here only to stay.
I could have got a better girl, but I could not have gotten you then
I never wanted the world; I just wanted to be your only friend.
I realize it cannot always be me, for there are lots more you see
All that glitters is no gold; and the gold you have is all me.
I will be here with you when all that you like would be gone
You’ll hear me saying evermore, “Love me, like me, befriend me alone!”

Continue reading...
Friday, December 4, 2009
Nothing else...
If you want it to be this way
I'll keep mum and not talk to you
Just want to know, that you'll stay!
In this world so big
I've got none for me
I know it for sure that
God's got plan for me
So I walk alone, if I have to
Knowing you are there, somewhere...
But if this what, I am supposed to do,
I'll just want to know you will stay.
I know you are far
But wherever you are
I will reach you someday
And when we meet
It will be a real good treat
I know its coming our way!
So I walk along the night sky
The rivers stale, boats rowing by
I look above and smile within
For I know, you will come soon and forever stay!
Continue reading...
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
There you go

There you go
And you go again
Away from me…
Is there a way to show
Show you my heart
Throbs for thee…
I know you wont care
If I’m not there
Waiting for you when you return
But love, is it fair
To leave me here
As my love you spurn!
Alright, you may go
And not come back
But, I will stay…
I’ll still wait here
And I’ll love you
Always, anyway…
Well, this can be another song. I am not sure who is going to put music to this, but I am sure it has the caliber to become a song someday – yes, someday!
Happy AIDS Awareness day :)
Continue reading...
Friday, November 13, 2009
Girl in the rain

There’s a girl in the rain
Hiding tears and her pain
I keep wondering
Who’s she?
Her hair is wet
She looks so great
I wish we’d met
Before.
She looks here and there
With eyes full of scare
There’s none around her
She’s alone.
I see through this glass
The distance between us
There’s a road I can’t pass
It’s jammed.
I can’t see her face
Amidst this menace
It’ll be real disgrace
If she leaves.
As she quiver
I step out of my car
And I walk towards her
In faith.
Seeing me come her way
She smiles at me, nay
She hurries away
In the rain.
Why would she just go?
I just want to know
Did she see me before?
Anyways…
There’s a girl in the rain
Hiding tears and her pain
I’ve a feeling within
That’s you!
==================================================
...A dedication to myself and my beautiful wife on 12 years completion of our journey in love...
Continue reading...
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Even if I let you go

Before you leave me
In all these years we were together,
Did you love me, ever?
It was all clear on your face
You changed a lot these days
Fool of me, that I didn’t see you go away.
My life is at bay!
I knew girls don’t have a heart
I thought you to be poles apart
I fell prey to the dreams you showed,
To the solemn words you vowed.
Love, I know a lot about
But, I still have a little doubt
Is it fate that has parted us, or you?
It is hard to trust, but true!
There was so much in you
I always felt the bliss as new
As you leave me in the world of sorrow,
For a better tomorrow!
Even if I let you go
My love, I just want to know
Were all the words you said just fake?
For God’s sake!
Continue reading...
Sunday, November 1, 2009
One Night Stand

I slept for long, it seems
- As I woke up this morning
- And I stretched my hands for her,
- I found the pillows alone,
- One night stand was over!
I slept for long, it seems
- She woke up before I did
- And she left before dawn,
- I could still hear her moans around me
- Her smell was not yet gone.
I slept for long, I feel
- When I look around my room
- The last night flashed in my head,
- I saw the moon in my arms
- In the comfort of my bed.
I slept for long, I knew
- When I rubbed my eyes and sat up
- And my gaze rummaged around,
- I see my kingdom as it was
- But my queen was not to be found.
I slept for long, I’m afraid
- I found a note, she left
- On a beautiful pink paper, it says
- “Good Morning, my honeycomb,
- “Welcome to the world of AIDS!”
Cross posted at: The Writers Lounge
Continue reading...
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
The Meeting
A tap on my right shoulder; I turned 180 degrees around and I was shocked!
I always thought her to be my dream girl. We shared our pictures and I really felt she was the one. Actually, I modified her a great deal to match the idol I dreamt of. And very easily, she got into that virtual mold. With her chatting, emails, text messages and rare phone calls and those jokes and giggles over the phone, she easily crept in the cast I made in my thoughts and dreams. I went through the last five months of knowing her on the internet in a flash – the way we met in Orkut and then we chatted in GTalk and those nudges and those irregular emails took us to a few conversations on the phone and finally we would meet that Friday evening. All felt like a moment – a mere moment!
Another prod – this time, it was more of a shake.
“Hey, do you recognize me?”
“Ee… No! I mean, who are you?”
“Err… Rakib?”
“Ra… Rakib?”
“I’m sorry. I meant, are you Rakib Al Sharif?”
“Rakib Al Sharif?”
“I’m Sahana… Sahana?”
“Sahana? Yes, but…”
“I’m sorry again. Are you Rakib? I came here to meet you.”
“Nn… No! I’m not Rakib. My name is Asif. Asif Mm… Mohammad.”
“Oh! I’m extremely sorry.”
“Ee… it’s alright.”
She turned back. I could see the want in her eyes to meet me, through my tainted glasses. She was also searching all around her – for me – the way I was searching for her all this time! She cross passed me and I tried to smell her for one last time by the passing gust of her, but I smelled nothing! How strange! I could smell her and feel her presence even while we were chatting on the internet, the other night. And that day, when she was as close as ever, I could not feel her at all!
She went ahead and dissolved in the crowd. I turned once more to look for her, but I did not search. I did not see her there again. It was almost dark but I could not think of removing the glasses. I lit one more cigarette with almost trembling hands and walked towards the bus stop.
[That Night, in YM]
Sahana: Hi...
(Last message received: 3 minutes ago)
Sahana: hw r u?
(Last message received: 2 minutes ago)
Sahana: Hello... :) u thr?
Rakib: Hi
Sahana: wt happnd?
Rakib: Feeling tired
Sahana: y? :(
(Last message received: 7 minutes ago)
Sahana: ... ...
(Last message received: 4 minutes ago)
Sahana: r u bz?
Rakib: Nope
Sahana: thn? :'(
(Last message received: 3 minutes ago)
Sahana: tk 2 me...
Sahana: r u thr???
Sahana: H E L L O ................. :X
(Last message received: 12 minutes ago)
Rakib: Yes
Sahana: y dint u cm 2day?
(Last message received: 5 minutes ago)
Sahana: wt happnd? tk 2 me... plz....
Sahana: Rakib.......
Rakib: I am here
(Last message received: 4 minutes ago)
Sahana: ws tht u?
Rakib: No
(Rakib is Offline.)
Sahana: I wsh v cud spk. ........... Gud bye!... ... ... ... ... :'( :'(
(Rakib is Offline. Message not sent.)
Continue reading...
Friday, September 4, 2009
The Last Flood

The flood was bloody. And so was the aftermath. It has been a couple of days, since the silent river rose, roared and ruined the village. The time was frightening and was long lived – enough to engulf the whole village. The life-giving river that used to provide the villagers food and water became a monster that night, and ate up its own children. The tides rose above the banks and swallowed crops, cattle, trees, huts and everything else that beautified and glorified the village.
It left behind Mili alone, the daughter of the village milkman. She was away, at other end of the village, collecting blueberries for the market, next day. She was late and it was raining incessantly; she thought of spending the night with her ailing grandmother. She lived there and she lives to witness the repercussions of the flood that devastated her family, her village and all her dreams overnight!
She remembers the day when she first went to school. Her mother accompanied her till the river. She took a handful of water and sprinkled it all over Mili and asked her to take its blessings, since it was her first steps into a new life. She never knew then that the river would one day, do such grotesque a thing to wipe out the very village that worshipped and considered it their mother.
Mili walked by the bank of the river over the stones and pebbles towards the place where her house used to be, just the other day. She looked up – the moon was like a big aluminum plate, they used to eat on. The river was silent again, but the water in it was rushing downhill like never before. She never saw such haste in the river water. She wanted to ask them where they were going – after sullying her life. They seemed to speed through just to avoid her questions. She cried for the entire day – her tear buds were frozen and out of tears. She cried no more.
She reached the place and looked around – there is no sign of any inhabitance anywhere. Only the vestiges of the mud walls stayed to prove that there were people staying here. She walked among those broken walls and could find nothing but sand and trails of silt and shrubs that the water carried. There was nothing left to cry on or to call home!
It started to rain again. A sudden thought made her cold: is the water hastening to create similar mayhem in the other end of the village, where her grandmother was staying? She got scared! She looked back and ran over the stony riverbank. Her feet bleed but she never stopped but sped as if she was competing with the stream. As soon as she reached grandmother’s hut she ran in and hugged the shivering old woman. She asked, “What happened, Mili? Why did you come back?” Mili whispered in her ears, “Nothing Granny. Everything is all right – everything is silent!”
Continue reading...