Saturday, February 28, 2009

Love You Dear

Let’s share life
Once more
Violating the rules. Now,
Even more

Years passed
Over the edge
Under the same roof

Dealt with life
Every time
And again
Reassessing all proof'!

Crossposted this in The Writer's Lounge on February 23, 2009

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Friday, February 27, 2009

Life Goes On

Inspired from Life Goes On in The Writer's Lounge

Little world
Insufficient friends
Failed relationships
Endless rendezvous

Ghostly appearances
Online chats
Eager weekends
Specious retrospect

Only because
No attachments!

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Good Bye My Friend

As I say good bye
I love you, but I am shy
I hope this is no end
I hope this is no end
I love you, but I am shy
As I say good bye

Catch more awesome posts at: NaisaiKu Challange II

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Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Heads Or Tails #79 - Case


Shona was bathing in the pond near her house. It is not their own, but since it is in the neighborhood, everyone in her house used to bath in this pond. A fishpond, but habitually used for bathing and washing. Where else would everybody go? They had only two ponds in the village and the other one is strictly used by the fisheries. She dipped in a couple of times and came out. She was about to keep the soap on the rock near her and it just slipped out of her hands and fell into the water. She dipped in again and searched for a long time, but could not retrieve it. She cried, but no one came to her aid, for it was noon and everybody was busy working in the fields. No one had time to search a soap cake in water for this 7 years old kid. She was alone. She was helpless and she was at fault. This is the second soap in two months that her father bought her a soap cake and she lost it. A soap might cost a huge sum and that was the reason father never used to get her one that frequently. Father will be fuming on this and may not buy her any more soap in the future. She has lost her soap now – probably the last one! Her bathing was over.

She cried for a couple of minutes more, but once she realized that there would be no one coming towards her, she stood up. She gathered her wet cloths and started walking back towards home.

“It’s not my fault at all,” she told to herself. “I asked father to bring a soap case along with the soap. He did not bring it last time too. I warned him about this. Maybe, I did. Whatever, but it’s not my fault. It’s his fault that I lost the soap today. I would not cry anymore. Why should I? Even Lailee lost her soap the other day and she borrowed mine. And this time, it’s not my mistake. I’ll ask father to buy me one more soap and this time and a soap case as well – the pink one!” She was confident now and had all the answers to father’s probable questions.

Shona talked to herself all the way home. She was convinced that it was not her liability that the soap was lost. She was even prepared to face her father now and was sure to scold him for not buying her the case. She would not let him escape by scolding her for no fault of her own. After all, the soap was lost for the want of a case!

She looked around as she crossed the fencing around their house. There was no one there; probably the ladies were all asleep and her father was obviously in the field. She crept in silently. She went to the hanging lines and hung her cloths. She paid her regards to the Gods in the small temple and went inside the house. Everybody else was asleep, as she thought. She went to the kitchen and had her lunch. It was almost time to go to play now and she did not waste a single moment to reach Lailee’s house. She had forgotten about the soap totally by now.

She came back before dusk, cleaned herself and took out her books. She sat on the mat with a bowlful of puffed rice mixed with onions and some mustard oil. It was almost dark and she had to use the lantern. She has just started learning the alphabet and it was fun for her. Everything was so new and funny. No one in the house could read any of those symbols there. If it would not have been for her selfless teaching, her father would not have been able to recognize anything from that book. She was proud because of that and used to put a lot of effort while studying and teaching. She had almost finished the alphabet now and would start learning the digits in some days. She was very happy. She took out the book and started to read the letters on top of her voice.

“Shonaaa…” Her father called her aloud once he entered the premises of the house. She ran out of the house and leaped on him, as any other good evening. The very touch of her father sunk something deep inside her. She remembered the soap! Oh! All her happiness disappeared. She felt vanquished. All her thoughts of self confidence vanished. She was in her father’s arms – the safest place in the world she knew; but that could not stop her from howling out! She grabbed her father with both hands; as tightly as possible and broke into tears. Father kept on asking what happened but did not get a reply. She kept on shedding tears as he was holding her close to him. She cried and cried more and when she was tired, she slept – all the time in her father’s arms. After a long time when there was no more sound and no more tears on his shoulders, the father realized that Shona was asleep. He shook her a little and got no response. He took her to the bed and slowly but carefully laid her down. Just before he left her, two words came out of her mouth, which made no sense to him, “Soap Case.”

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Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Shadow Dancing

She stood there in the cold
Hiding her shivering hand,
All alone, by herself
Digging down into the sand.

On her mind there is me
Whether she likes it or not,
Deep down inside her heart
And in whatever she has got!

Now tides were touching her feet
Cold, as cold as it would be
In the middle of nowhere,
Nelly was standing, thinking of me
God! That’s where I wanted to be.

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Friday, February 20, 2009

A Rainy Encounter

It was another Monday and he knew not what to do. The morning was broken and no Sun rose. Dark clouds covered the sky like a thick blanket. A few beams of light came out from here and there but could never match the sunshine he had yesterday. The sip on the cup of tea was bleak – it tasted like syrup and looked like mud water. He kept the cup aside and stood up from the easy chair. He removed the yellow dirty curtains with his shivering hands and moved out in to the verandah. The indoor plants there were still wet from the late night drizzle and so were the streets down. He held the railings tightly and looked up once again towards the sky.

Drops of pearl are hiding
Behind the blanket of cloud
The glacier of rains
Not moving but shouting aloud.

Go away, O cloud great,
Let there be sunshine,
Let the rays pierce my heart
And reach this soul of mine.

No, it would not rain soon, he thought. Is it good time to go out? He looked at his watch, probably for the tenth time this morning and it tells the same time. It was time to sit back at home and get more bored. He turned back towards the door of the verandah and leaned backwards on the railings. He took out the small linen piece to clean his spectacles, again for the tenth time probably. It was shining like gold by now. He cleaned it once more and went inside.

He turned on the TV to see if there was anything interesting. Astha Channel! Damn! There is nobody home today. He need not pretend to be watching this freaking channel anymore. He turned on the Sports Channel. WWF – yeah, the program to watch now. He liked this fat man in red and white, but could not recall his name. Whatever, he was good – he thrashed those two bulldogs the other day and it was fun to watch. Let’s see what he does today to this bear in yellow.

“साब, मैं जाऊँ?” (“Sir, may I go?”) the maid enquired. She has always been so nice to him. Always ready to serve him the way he wants. She’s probably the only person in the world who takes good care of him. Probably an ‘achhut’ (untouchable) – pretty dark, tall and exposing! She must be in her late twenties. She has all those immature gestures of that age. Probably unmarried too, but he never had the guts to ask her. These people do not clad that way too, so you cannot just tell if they are married just by looking at them.

“साब, अब मैं जाऊँ?” (“Sir, may I go now?”) the maid enquired again. Damn!

“सिउली, बेठ न थोडी देर. घर में कोई नही है. थोडी देर बय्ठ्के चली जाना.” (“Shiuli, stay for some time. There is no one in the house. Stay for some time and then go.”)

“साब, दूसरी जगह भी जाना है.” (Sir, I need to go to another place too.)

“अभी, अभी जाना है?” (“Do you need to go right now?”)
“हम्म, नही. थोडी देर बय्ठ्के जाती हूँ.” (“Hmm, no. I shall stay for some time.”)

She sat near him, alongside his easy chair. He felt anxious. She was sitting so close to him that he almost could smell her sweat. He hoped that it starts raining and never stops now.

Rain now,
As if you never did
Wash away the earth along
For, it’s you now, whom I need!

Rain hard,
As long as you want to,
Don’t ask me why, now
Just that I want you.

He could easily feel that Shiuli did not take much interest in wrestling. So, he gave the remote to her and asked her to select a channel she would like to watch. She took the remote with a tiny leap, but then looked back at him as if asking permission. He smiled at her and winked. She was all smiles. Could not read much though, but she was happy getting this unexpected privilege. She browsed through the channels and finally held on to a Hindi movie channel which was showing a not-so-new movie on it. Shiuli seems to be enjoying.

He could not look at her directly, even if he wanted to. He tried to move within his chair as far as possible, but could not get a glimpse of her. He moved again and again in quick succession, but still Shiuli’s beautiful face was away from him. He could feel the togetherness and the proximity, not knowing if Shiuli was feeling the same. He did not care for that. He was trying to get as close as possible, in his own way, from within the boundary of the easy chair.

“गोविंदा मेरा सबसे मनपसंद हीरो है साबजी. आपको भी अच्छा लगता है?” (Govinda is my favorite hero, Sir. Do you like him too?”)

He came out tearing through the spell of her beauty.

“हाँ, हाँ क्यों नही. बहोत अच्छा है. और कौन अच्छा लगता है तुझको?” (“Yes, why not? Whom else do you like?”)

“गोविंदा, शाहरुख़, अमिताभ और सलमान. आपको?” (“Govinda, Shahrukh, Amitabh and Salman. And who’s your favorites?”)

“हाँ, मुझे भी.” (“Yes, I too like them.”)

It started to rain outside. It was drizzling, but now it was heavy – just what he wished for. Shiuli was getting more relaxed and friendly with him. She let go the knot in her hair and let it loose. A subtle fragrance filled the atmosphere. He could feel it – more with every breath he took. At times, she would catch hold of the leg of the easy chair and would shake it. The sudden movement would set a chilling feeling in his spine. He was very excited – a feeling of freedom and mischief was filling his mind. He was about to ask her to close the door to the verandah when she looked up at the wall clock.

“मर गयी साब! नौ बज गया. मुझे दूसरी जगह भी जाना है.” (“Oh My God Sir! It’s 9 o’clock now. I need to go to another place too.”)

“चली जाना. ये फ़िल्म तो खतम करले.” (“Finish this film and go.”)

“नही साब. मुझे अभी जाना होगा. घर में मेरा एक साल का एक बच्चा भी है. अकेला है वो. मुझे अभी जाना होगा.” (“No Sir. I need to go now. I have left my one year old kid back home. It is alone. I need to leave now.”) With these words, she stood up and started to tie her hair.

He was dumbstruck! He never saw that coming, not from any direction he could think of. He felt lost. He felt selfish. He felt weird and shitty. Ashamed! He knew not how to react. A weird feeling filled his head and the feeling moved down through the throat and chest and reached his stomach. It was almost aching! He sat straight in the easy chair, trying to relax. He was breathing heavily – almost audible. He wanted to walk up to the door and open the door by himself, but could not even stand up. His heart was sinking and he could feel it. He could utter no word.

Rain O rain,
Stop pouring!
Take a break and stop for sometime
Let her reach her goal. Then rain again!

The downpour slowed down. Shiuli left, not before reminding him of the glass of milk and his medicines. He raised his right hand as if he promised her to have those on time. She locked the door behind her and threw the key from beneath the door. He need not move towards the door. He could not. He was too ashamed to have looked at her again or to move any further. He sat there for I-don’t-know-how-long. The delicate scent of her body, hair and sweat prevailed, but he could not feel it anymore.

He stood up holding his knees. He walked up to the door to the verandah, removed the curtains and leaned on the railings. He remembered today to be another Monday morning. He ardently hated this time every week for four years, since the time he retired. It was not raining anymore, but the streets down were all wet. He looked up in despair. I am not sure, but probably he cried – for one last time!

A feeling so impure
I felt today,
I would shed tears, but then
Laugh, you may.

What would you do there?
Come down and pour on me
Drench me, soak me and clean me
O Cloud great, I pray to thee…

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Thursday, February 19, 2009

Eternal Wait

How long will it last
I cannot love what I do not trust
Will there be any end
Will there be any end
I cannot love what I do not trust
How long will it last

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Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Living Without You

Life has been so lonely
I am missing you tonight
It’s been so painful
It’s been so painful
I am missing you tonight
Life has been so lonely

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Friday, February 13, 2009

NaisaiKu: Will You Love Me Too

I cry my heart out
Can you see me crying, my love
Will you hold me close?
Will you hold me close?
Can you see me crying, my love
I cry my heart out

Learnt this style of writing from NaisaiKu..
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अनोखी बात

Here is my view in its continuation।

ये कैसा मोड़ आया है जीवन में
उमंग है और जोश भी
आँखों में है मदहोशी पर
जेहन में है होश भी ।
कल तक मैं समझता था
के कोई आयेगा और पुचकारेगा
ना है अब किसीका इंतज़ार, ना घबराहट
कुछ लावा है दिलमे और कुछ आक्रोश भी ॥

आज ऐसा क्या हुआ है?
चिडियां अचानक ही गीत गाने लगे
हर तरफ़ है कुछ खुशी सा, फेला हुआ
लोग और भी प्यारे नज़र आने लगे ।
कुछ छुट गया, कुछ छुटने वाला है
शीशे का दिल मेरा भी टूटने वाला है
दिल बर्दाश्त ना कर सका ये तन्हाई
जो मिले, हम उन्हिसे मोहब्बत करने लगे ॥

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Thursday, February 12, 2009


किसीके इन्तेज़ार में
बय्ठे हैं हम राहों में
बरसो बीत गये
ना कोई आया
ना आँखों के समीप
नाही मेरे खयालों में ॥

प्यार तो नहीं था
पर प्यार के ही राहों में हम थे,
ना ज़मीन, ना आसमान था
हर जगह बस हम ही हम थे ।

साहिलों में बय्ठे हुए
उस पार सुरजको डूबते और निकलते हुए देखा
बंध मुट्ठी मे से जैसे रेत निकलती हो
कित्ने ही लम्हे हमने वैसे फिसलते हुए देखा ।

किसीके इन्तेज़ार में
बय्ठे हैं हम राहों में
खूब रोये पर
किसीने याद नहीं की
ना बयठाया पलकों पे किसीने
नाही अपने बाहो में ॥

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Wednesday, February 11, 2009


There has not been a day
That I did not remember you.
There has not been a night
That I did not miss you.
For, you were always with me,
In my thoughts and my breaths
There has not been a moment
That I did not love you.

With oceans and mountains in between us
You have made sure you come closer to me,
With every moment that passes by
I feel you much nearer to me.

This time has always been taken a lot from us
This distance has always been tearing us apart
I could, but I never said how much I love you,
I say now, “Come straight to my heart.”

And life will be happy
As it never was
The time will be cheerful
As it never was
The distance will vanish,
As if it was never there
We will live happily ever after,
When you will come near, my dear!

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Friday, February 6, 2009

तेरे बिना

सुनी सुनी होगी ये ज़िन्दगी तेरे बिना,
मसले फूलों सी होगी ये ज़िन्दगी तेरे बिना ।
जिस राह से तू गुज़रा करती थी हमेशा से
उस राह में ही रुकी होगी ये ज़िन्दगी तेरे बिना ॥

जितना प्यार तुने दिया है मुझको,
शयेद ही मैं उतना प्यार किसीसे अब कर पाऊं
तेरे साथ साथ कभी चल तो न सका,
शायेद तेरी राह ताकते हुए ही मैं मर जाऊँ ।
आंखें प्यासे, पलकें बोझल, नींदें गूम हो जाएँगी, तेरे बिना ॥

कल अगर तू चली जायेगी
तो आँखों से नूर चला जायेगा
कोई जो कभी भी पास नहीं थी,
अब सदा के लिए दूर चला जायेगा ।
फिज़ा वीरां, समां खामोश, राहें सुनी हो जाएँगी, तेरे बिना ॥

बहोत हो गया यूँ रातों को जागना
यूँ पलकें उठाके खिड़की से ताकना
तू कभी नहीं आई, न आने का पय्गाम भेजी
अब जा राही है, तो मेरा दिल भी साथ रखना ।
लोग बैमान, ज़माना गैर, अपने पराये हो जायेंगे, तेरे बिना ॥

मत जा, ए दोस्त मेरे
एक बस येही आरज़ू है दिलमे
फूल हज़ारों फिर से खिलेंगे
रौशनी फिरसे छा जायेगी मेहफिल्मे ।
दिल अकेला, प्यार नासूर, धड़कनें खामोश हो जाएँगी, तेरे बिना ॥

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Tuesday, February 3, 2009

A bug – a guru.

Here I sit, in this stranded cave
Having lost all –
My family, love, kingdom and people.
I have nowhere to go,
I await no one’s call –
In that bloody battlefield, I lost them all!

The battle so filthy,
It ruined me to dust –
My people betrayed, whom I trust
Still. Maybe it’s time
For me to bid goodbye –
After all that happened, I wonder why!

Where are you?
My loveliest –
The one to whom I sworn.
Traitor, yet my friend
Where have you gone?
Deceiving the land, where you were born!

Sitting here tonight,
I feel so low,
For, apart from the heavens, I’ve nowhere to go,
I flew from the arena
My people know
This shameful face of mine, I cannot show.

My sword, my friend
I plea to thee –
Cut off my head and set me free,
For, I have no choice
But to flee –
Tomorrow’s sunrise, I want not to see.

But stop. What is that bug on the wall?
Striving to climb up, yet so small,
Hurling a web and trying to mount
But each time it would surely fall.

No, wait! It is climbing now
Showing me the way exactly how
What a thought, that has crept in my mind!
“O Spider, my teacher, let me take a bow.”

Now I know! No need to fake it.
The world to you is the way you take it.
One thing that I have learnt for my life –
If you try, you will surely make it.
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